“It ain’t so, Gary!” There, I said it. I communicate with more than 50 foreigners most days, every week in email, in my article comments, on the RTTP Forum and in personal consulting. It never ceases to amaze me about some of the things that foreigners have been told about the Philippines…by other foreigners! There is a lot of misinformation going around and a lot of it is very intentional. Philippines bashing, Filipino bashing, Culture bashing and other outright lies! I am not denying that some foreigners had bad experiences in the Philippines, however, that was just that..their experience. To paint a picture that every foreigner in every location of the Islands is going to have the same experience as they did is pure deception. Some guys are very unhappy, they don’t even like themselves and if they see you happy, they will try to bring you down!
Urban Legends And Outright Lies
A foreigner told me just this month that every Filipina has a baby by the time she is 18 years of age and she is expecting her second baby before age 20. No doubt, this happens, but to say every woman in the Philippines is in this situation is not true by any means. I am outraged!
Another foreigner recently told me that most every Filipina in the country has worked as a nude model on a webcam during her lifetime. Whoa, Nelly! Where do these guys dig up this garbage?
A very common urban legend is that if you marry a Filipina, you will be giving money away every month to her entire family. I’ve been married to my wife, who happens to be a Filipina, for soon to be 11 years and we, since we are partners, do not give money away every month to anyone in the family, other than to our own son! Sure, we help out if there is a real need in the family but other than my father in law’s sickness, his funeral and his wake, we have not been asked to chip in one centavo in 2014 and here we are in mid-September. This is the blunt truth! My wife has never expected me to give money away just because I have a certain amount and can afford it. No way, Jose.
All attorneys in the Philippines will tell you what you want to hear just to suck the money outta yo pocket. Far from the truth! Since my wife has several businesses, we have an attorney in the province and one in the city, as we have since 2009. I can’t tell you how many times when they refused to even accept P500 for giving us sound advice. We had retained both in the past for projects, which we indeed paid their fee but for simple things, they are available for *free*! In fact, we are all friends now and we met both for the first time in 2009. That’s what friends are for! If you have Filipinos for friends, you have friends for life! The other part of this, if you have Filipino friends, they expect money from you. It has never happened! We have fabulous Filipino friends who invited us out and picked up the tab, many times!
To have a good life in the Philippines, you will need $2,500-$3,000 per month. Get outta town! We have an excellent quality of life on not more than $1,200 per month, with most months being in the $1,000 range of money spent. I will add that if you pay high rent, eat most meals out in Western style restaurants, hit the casinos and bars several times every week, have a 20 year old girlfriend, then hell yeah! You better bring some Dinero because $3,000 probably won’t be enough every month!
All Filipinos live in poverty. I personally invite you to Bacolod City and take a look. I can take you to parts parts of Alabama and Florida to show you Third World style poverty and underdevelopment! Yes, there are many poor people in the Philippines but there are also a number of psychosocial reasons that contribute to that factor. The Philippines, as a country, is not as poor as many perceive. In 2014, the Philippines completed the deal to buy 12 fighter jets from South Korea. The tab? $415.7 million USD.
I only touched on a few of the things going around about the Philippines that are far from the truth. There are many more crazy things I hear all the time from foreigners, who are interested in retiring to the Philippines. I do not fault them because they have not been here yet, or they have not spent much time in the Philippines. One or 2 weeks here is not going to give you the entire picture about this wonderful country and the fabulous Filipino people. However, I have issues with foreigners who tell lies about the Philippines and then just sit back and gloat. “I scared another one off!” Karma comes to everyone… sooner or later!
There are so many things said about the Philippines that are wrong it is absolutely amazing. What you mentioned in this article is just a few of them. I will say this though…most filipinos are very poor and that cannot be argued. But there are plenty of filipinos that are doing quite well or at least not as poor as the “average” filipino.
One of the myths I hate the most is that the Philippines is dangerous! LOL. For me and EVERY friend of mine that visits the Philippines…we think the Philippines is safer.
And finally one more thing…I find it totally amusing that so many foreigners think darn near every filipina wants to move to America or some other first world country. That is simply not true. Not close to being true. I have 100’s of filipina friends…and NOT one of them want to move to another country. They will move if they have to…but they would rather stay in their country with their family and friends.
It is just irritating as heck that there are so many misconceptions about the Philippines. And most of these are of the negative variety.
I actually wanted to make a comment on the money issue. It can be more expensive to live in the Philippines if you want to EXACTLY duplicate your life in America. But if that is the case…just stay in America! I have lived in Mindanao…and loved it. $1000 a month in Sindangan, Mindanao was more than enough. Even if we wanted maids. A good solid apartment was less than $100.
I also stay a lot in Makati Manila, one of the most expensive places in the Philippines. And I could EASILY be very happy living in Makati on $1500 a month. If a person were to live in other areas of the Philippines there is no doubt $2000 or less is more than enough to live a good life.
$2500 to $3500 would be PLENTY enough to live on with a LOT of extras.
More great comments, Bertram! Concerning the danger in the Philippines, my dad’s brother told me before that the Philippines is a dangerous place and I am going to get killed over here. Sadly, my uncle was killed by a shotgun blast early one morning, as he was headed to open his Lock and Key shop in Alabama. Robbery. The case has yet to be solved.
One of the great things about the Bacolod Area is the low crime rate. There is crime, like everywhere but it would be rare that you are robbed on a jeepney or that your vehicles would be hijacked, like we so often read about in the National Capital Region. Although, I know first hand, there are many safe places in Luzon.
~ Gary ~
just story say it aint,t so gary
My wife has never wanted to see the US even for a visit, too much expense. I try to help out Nanay when she needs meds, that’s about it. In 7 years my wife retires as a teacher and will get a 1Mpeso bonus. She wants a small lot to open a nursery with the hundreds of plants we have, including more then 80 orchids. I want to grow some different trees.
We have been living in the Philippines for eight years and just received our residency.
One of the mistakes we made early on was saying “Filipinos are …” or “Filipinos do …”
Once you travel the islands you soon discover that people in Makati are different than people in Palawan who are different than people in Negros.
Just like the States, people in the north are different than people in the south who are different than people from the east …
No doubt that some have had bad experiences here, but that does not reflect the population of the whole country.
It is true that the country as a whole is a very rich place.
It is also true that the majority of the population lives in poverty as the distribution of wealth is concentrated in a small part of society.
The Philippines is a great place to live in many aspects!
Great comments, Todd, and on target! You have the right attitude to being happy while living in the Philippines.
Congratulation for receiving your residency! I know y’all are among a number of expats who are doing positive things in making a difference for Filipinos in the communities of Negros Occidental.
Take care,
~ Gary ~
My gf lives in Cebu. She does not want to move to the US. The Philippines is a “cool” country. That’s why I’m moving there!
ok I read about all the lies that are posted, I tell you the truth on my experience. I do realize I married a unique Filipino. My lucky date was dec 28 09 we live in Indiana. She is 47 myself 65 we both work myself a union truck driver she just work at TJ Max small wages. We have manning Philippines friends, none of them close like my wife they send all their money over their. I think they want to impress then like they have a lot of money. We have bought mom and dad a refrigerator a tv plus we send xmas money but nobody is on the pay row.
We bought 300 sq metters in San Ricardo SoutherLeyte we paid 600 paso per metter its over looking the Pacific ocean. Its a simple place nothing their, Like her brother says I got to learn how to eat fish. We plan to build house their around million paso. I do plan to visit Gary when we move I hope this been helpful to all.
Thank you trkphil, for sharing your experience. It is nice hearing from you. Your lot sounds like a cool place in San Ricardo and an excellent location. I enjoy eating fish several times every week, not every day, but not bony fish. I look forward meeting you one day.
Take care,
~ Gary ~
Haha this is so true Gary.
I live in Indonesia but will soon move to The Philippines with my wife (we’re moving to Bacolod so perhaps we can meet then).
Many of the same stereotypes hold true in Indonesia, especially the one about money sucking friends and family. This is just outright untrue, and in fact I can tell you I have many friends in both countries that could afford to hire the westerners who say this as their houseboys lol
It’s just ignorance. All that can be done to combat it is to show through action that there are many asian-western happy couples and that these stereotypes are simply untrue.
I sometimes do get outraged by some of the off the cuff comments people make to me about my choice to marry a Filipina, but I also remind myself they’ll never know how great it can be too!
That’s great that you are moving to Bacolod. Just let us know after you get settled in and are free.
Right! All Filipino families are not dirt poor.
~ Gary ~
Like to say I agree that there are misconceptions, Like everything else everyone’s Life and circumstances are different, I’ve been married for 33yrs to the same Woman Who happens to be Filipino. I’ve been Back and Forwards Here a number of times and currently Living Here in Bacolod. There is Good and Bad in every Nationality, but I believe We are Victims of the choices We make. I Married at 23 and there is a 3yr difference in our ages, so We spent all Our young years together. Getting to the Point, Her Family in all that time have never asked for a cent, We have given money over the years but only if We could afford it, and never pressured. I don’t want to sound to Judgemental but as a now 56yr old Man, I Don’t expect to Have a lot in common with a 20yr old Girl Who’s young enough to be My Daughter, if you get my point, not unless I have an intravenous drip full of Viagra strapped to Me. In short We get what We Deserve. Regards, Ashley.
Congratulations, Ashley, on your long and happy marriage to a Filipina. I hope you enjoy living in Bacolod. I surely do!
~ Gary ~
Thanks Gary, Be nice to meet You sometime,
Regards,. Ashley
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This thread is one of the most enlightening among the countless gems in Gary’s helpful and thoroughly dependable vault from which we, expats, can pull out very sound advice, salient information, and guidelines on how to make our retirement years safe, meaningful, and truly worthy of our expectations and hopes. Those “ugly expats” who besmirch all of us by promptly lumping the Filipinos into a mindless mass of dependent, idiotic, opportunistic, and worthless creatures unworthy of respect so they could be easily defined or portrayed as the liminal and abject “others” — perhaps to make themselves feel better about their bigoted, myopic, and ignorant selves — should be unmasked and shunned. My Filipina wife’s relatives, most of whom have never gone to high school, are authentic and genuine folks who would choose to starve themselves rather than to beg pittance from our doorstep. They are the most helpful and thoughtful people I have never known, and some of my own kins in the States would learn so mjuch about humanity and integirty if they could halfway be as decent as them. They defy all the stereotypes that said ugly expats and foreigners handily foist on them. I have stories and anecdotes that I treasured through the years, experiences I will happily take to my grave, and memories that have filled my heart with gratitude, that I can share with them, if only they would shake off such bigoted mindsets.