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The Look Of Love

June 3, 2013 by Gary McMurrain 4 Comments

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buwaya-l
Do not get fed to the gators! Oops, no alligators in the Philippines but there are crocodiles. One of the most sought after answers for single and available foreigners is “How can I meet a fantastic Filipina in the Philippines?” Retiring to the Philippines is not a dating site, however, there is no denying that every retiree who moves to the Philippines is not a long time happily married man and many are looking for a wonderful local lady to spend his Golden Years with. For sure, there are many fabulous, beautiful single ladies here in the Pearl of the Orient. Many of us have already seen so many knock out photos of the world famous beautiful women in the Islands of Paradise, so I did not include another one in my article. Both men and and women have been devoured in terrible relationships. It is not difficult to avoid the trouble and danger instead of walking into it blindly.

Since I am an American retired and living in the Philippines, I have also been asked by a number of  Filipinas, “How can I meet a nice foreigner?” That, my friends, is a tough question!

Personally, I think too much attention has been focused on the scam artists in the Philippines, who are often young, attractive ladies, but in fairness, yes, these crocodiles do exist, the same as in every country around the world. Every person is not honest. While no dating site can guarantee 100% the credibility of their clients, there are some very honest and mature ladies on some of the sites. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen over the years is when an expat hooks up with a young 20 something year old in the Philippines and he thinks that their 40 year age gap, together with the cultural differences, are not going to affect their relationship. It happens more often than not but this is not to say that such relationships never work out because they do. I personally know several couples who have a 30-40 year age gap between them and they have a blissful marriage but I also know many others who did not turn out so greatly.

Most Overlooked

There are so many incredible Filipinas in the 30-45 age group who are not only very beautiful but they are very mature and responsible. Many have successful careers, own their own homes and vehicles, are highly educated and they are available! I have never been a promoter of the mail order bride syndrome. Many guys come to the Philippines with the attitude that since they are foreigners with money, they can  buy any woman in the islands. This is far from the truth. It is also a very bad attitude to have in thinking you will be successful in this type relationship. Yes, it is a two way street! In all sincere honesty, over the past 27 years, I have known more Filipinas taken advantage of by foreign men than foreign men being taken advantage of by local ladies. Hands down!

Some expats want to meet filipinas online and marry a young lady in the Philippines from the countryside, who has very little knowledge about life itself, outside her circle of family members and close friends. The expats think they can easily control these young, naive women and this is what usually happens..in the beginning. But when the whip comes down and her eyes are opened, it is a disaster!

Most of the older and more responsible ladies in the Philippines expect a normal relationship development, nurtured by dating, spending quality time together and growing as one as the relationship develops. My wife was 31 when we married and one of the attractions she possessed, other than her inward and outward beauty, was our ability to have a conversation about things outside the Philippines. I love the Philippine Culture but there is a world out there and the Philippines is not the entire universe. Neither is the USA, where I am from. My wife and I did not meet one day and get married the next week! No way! From the day we met and began developing our relationship until we married was 4 months short of two years. It was a normal relationship between a man and a woman with very similar goals and objectives in life. We will celebrate our 10th Wedding Anniversary on December 25, 2013.

If you are looking for a life time partner in the Philippines, I think you will be able to find her here. However, treat her with the utmost respect and do not think you own her because you do not. I personally think Filipinas are the wonder of the world, to be cherished, because it is not easy finding a woman in the world who will be faithful and have such high regard for married and family life. Yes, there are exceptions, however, for anything to be counterfeit or fake, they had to copy or imitate the original!

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Filed Under: About the Philippines, Living in the Philippines Tagged With: love, philippines, relationships

About Gary McMurrain

Gary McMurrain has been involved with the Philippines in one way or another for over 30 years. He has been living in Bacolod for 6 years and is widely considered an authority on living the expat life.

Comments

  1. Bruce says

    June 4, 2013 at 2:32 am

    As a 53-year-old male just beginning to consider moving outside America and finding The Philippines a potentially good option, I’d personally be more open to building a relationship with a Filipina in her 30’s or 40’s who knows herself and the world a little better than a twentysomething. I mean, you have to talk sometime! Women do not automatically lose their looks on their 30th birthday and (as Gary notes) there are a LOT of attractive Filipinas who are also grown-ups. One of my oldest friends is married to a fiftysomething Filipina and she looks great.

    Guys, these ladies aren’t trophies…they’re real live flesh-and-blood human being with hopes and dreams of their own, no matter what their age may be. A little respect can go a long way.

    Reply
    • Gary McMurrain says

      June 4, 2013 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Bruce,

      Thank you for your nice comments. It is always great hearing from a guy with such respect and a wonderful attitude toward the ladies, originally from the Philippines. I say that in that a number of guys did not meet the love of their life in the Philippines, as many Filipinas work abroad.

      Some Filipinas are teachers, nurses, accountants, even engineers and others work in many other occupations. Some people have the false perception that every Filipina who works abroad is a domestic helper and that is not true. Nonetheless, I admire the domestic helpers who go abroad to work because they have a very hard job and often receive little respect. The domestic helpers from the Philippines are also among the unsung heroes of the country.

      Have a great day!

      ~ Gary ~

      Reply
  2. Joe says

    November 26, 2016 at 6:51 am

    Gary, as someone who has been widowed for the past 4 1/2 years, this will be an issue that will definitely come up when I arrive there in 15 years when I retire (providing I’m not remarried by then-so far that’s not a likely proposition. However if she were still alive, moving to the PH would have been out of the question since she never did well in the heat and humidity (probably part of her Scandanavian heritage- I used to say she had ice water running through her veins because she could tolerate the cold a lot better than I could), which is why I moved from FL to WI for her.

    But back to the issue at hand, Henry (aka “Reekay”) had also brought this issue up in one of his “Life Beyond The Sea” YouTube videos (I’ll find it later and post the link) in referencing the single Filipinas over 35. I had remarked on his group’s Facebook page that since I’ll be 67 when I retire out there, I would probably be looking for a single Filipina that’s at least 40. If I go too far under 35, it would be like finding someone close to my son’s age (he’ll be 27 when I retire out there) which would be tantamount to marrying his sister (which I’m sure wouldn’t fly very well).

    Reply
  3. Calvin Trent says

    December 8, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    5000 expats are here in Dumaguete… Wives and gfs are all different ages….from the big cities you get more scammers from the provinces get more quality people … …educated woman from a good family takes a little work just like America

    Reply

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