I’ve already heard a few grumbles from some foreigners about what they will spend in the Philippines this holiday season. With that attitude, they may as well not spend anything. My wife has a large family but I am not expected to buy 1,000 gifts or feed 1,000 people. However, I enjoy giving and I always have. I don’t give because I have to or because I am expected to. I only give because I want to. I also give within my means, as not to take away from my wife and our son.
With the trend of the currency exchange rates, you can do so much here in the islands with just a little. I didn’t say to give everything you have away.
Being Realistic
I have heard about some wives expecting their foreign husband to hand out a certain amount of money to her family every month and it has created problems. One problem is, once you start it, trouble will arise if you stop, so it is best to not get into that long term commitment. Just my opinion. During the 11 years of our marriage, my wife never asked or expected me to hand out allowances to anyone in her family. If a true emergency arises, we help as we can, but so do other members in the family. There is never a heavy burden upon our shoulders. Never!
I’ve met people during my lifetime who would not lift a finger to help anyone unless there was something in it for them. However, these same people expect others to bail them out when misfortune visits their door. And it always will at some point in life. You can count on it.
To Give Or Not To Give
I am not soliciting money from anyone for any cause. However, I learned a long time ago that what goes around, comes around. Karma is alive and kicking!
Since we are in the Philippines, I will relate to the Philippines. There are a number of wealthy Filipinos, both men and women, who give millions of pesos away every year and every year, they keep getting richer. Imagine that! They know how life works. What they happily give away returns to them many fold. Without failure.Why? Because they give to others cheerfully and they don’t sit around moping about what they have given.
I know some foreigners are here in the Philippines on a tight budget and may not be able to spare giving to anyone. At least on paper. As I said, only a little can do much for many.
We have visited Filipino family members and friends, who do not have much to give. Yet, they give their best to their visitors. They would never dream of not putting something to eat and drink in the hands of their visitors. Their gift of hospitality and sacrifice is always returned to them, somewhere down the road.
I am not rich by Western standards, based upon the amount of money I have in the bank or in my pocket. However, I am a rich man in many ways. I am successful because I learned years ago how life works.
Every Christmas and holiday season, my wife and I enjoy spreading around our many blessings to others. We also have the same attitude all year round. This is one big reason why we are successful in the Philippines. We know how life really works.
I wish all of you the very best in life.
Hi Gary, very true and wise words, personally I enjoy giving (within reason and if not asked) and expect nothing. Recently I was in Bacolod on my Birthday and my Wife’s family who don’t have much had gotten me a Birthday cake, I was overwhelmed by that gesture.
Brian
Hi Brian,
I hope you enjoyed being in Bacolod. The gesture of your wife’s family giving you a birthday cake is a perfect example of the wonderful Filipino hospitality.
~ Gary ~
I originate from a third world country and am familiar with much of what Gary states. As a retired person hoping to make a life in the Philippines, my limited resources will not allow me to help as much as I would want, but still, when help is needed I will give and expect nothing in return. When I first arrived in the US from my country many years ago, I was really amazed to see how people closely guarded their pennies. I really did not experience the same level of generosity and hospitality in the US as I had in my own poor country where people with very little have no hesitation in sharing the little they have with others, strangers included. And expect nothing in return. So Philippines, in that aspect, would be familiar territory for me.
I wish you all the best, Alvin, when it is time for you to make a life in the Philippines.
I also do not expect a return when I help others but I know from personal experience, I will receive a return, sometimes in several different ways. That is how life really works.
~ Gary ~
I really don’t think there is a more satisfying feeling than that of giving. We completed our Xmas shopping yesterday. What we bought was mostly food as our BBBs provided most of the gifts. We are flying in a niece on Xmas eve with her new baby and husband from Manila to be with her family here in Bacolod. She hasn’t been home for a couple of years and all the family are excited.
Many of my wife’s family are in Luzon and haven’t been back to Bacolod in most cases for over twenty years. But we can’t bring them all here. Last year we went to Manila to celebrate and the year before we were in Morong, Bataan. The family is scattered but we try and share things around.
As a rule we do not buy gifts for the adults especially those that are working. So many children to cater for.
Got two fridges full of food and the sari sari store next door can hold all the refreshments.
Merry Xmas to one and all.
Greg and Jeanna in Bacolod.
Thanks for sharing the things you are doing, Greg. I agree, giving elicits a warm feeling. It brings happiness to the giver and those receiving. A win-win for all.
Take care,
~ Gary ~
I’m feeling chills go down my spine with each word I read. I too, have family Im not friends with, and feel a bit intimidated by the closeness of the Filipino family. I want to exchange giving, and getting, from loving family and friends. Thanks for all that you do Gary. Semper FI to you and yours
Sobering thoughts Gary, especially on your lead piece. Perhaps the world could do with less of the me-me and rat race cultures common to developed societies. But I am with all those who believe in the pleasure of giving as an end in itself, all the while expecting nothing return. I never cease to be intrigued and impressed by the generosity and hospitality of people of (often) less than modest means in less developed countries. Whether that is part of a collective survival strategy, or as some cynical individual once observed: when you have little to lose, you can afford to lose it anyways, remains open to speculation. I seriously doubt that a phenomenon with such deep cultural roots could be so easily explained. Maybe the karma bit that Gary alluded to could be at work here.
Hey Gary, I found out early in life there are two types of people in this world, ones who give and the ones who take.It’s just up to you where you fit in.
Hey 58zapper,
Good observation! Right, we all have the choice as to which side of the fence we decide to live on.
~ Gary ~
Good post Gary and I agree with you wholeheartedly. My wife’s family never asks for anything but just like you say we always give a little assistance in the event of emergencies. However, when the Barangay in Leyte where our relatives live was washed away by Yolanda, we reached out to all our friends and family here in the US and was able to send over a dozen BB boxes as well as cash to help them recover. On our vacation there last month several people came up to me with tears in their eyes and told me they don’t know what they would’ve done without our assistance because they had absolutely nothing immediately after the storm.