People have many different reasons for choosing to live in the location that they do.
I’m originally from the UK but now live in the Philippines and have done so for the last twelve years.
However, the truth of the matter is, I never really chose to live in the Philippines…
…it chose me.
If that sounds a bit rich and a little bit ‘hippy-dippy’, then let me assure you its not.
Read this article to the end and hopefully you’ll understand what I mean when I say I never chose to live in the Philippines.
Why Do You Live Where You Live?
For some, the place they live is simply the place they were born, and they never had the desire to move.
Perhaps they lack the resources or imagination to live somewhere else.
I make no judgment at all on anybody who chooses not to relocate. As long as they’re happy where they are then I say ‘more power to ya!’.
But the truth is, I know for a fact, that many people live their entire lives in a place that brings them little happiness or in some extreme cases…
…none at all.
For me, moving to the Philippines was something that was born out of a need to be somewhere else.
Anywhere else.
I’d always felt uncomfortable and out of place. Like I had an itch that I could never scratch.
Does that make sense?
I just wanted a place where I could feel happy and relaxed and free from worry and stress. It never seemed like an unreasonable goal to me but yet it was something that I could never achieve while living in the West.
Finding a Wife in the Philippines
For many people, getting married, having kids and settling down is what they think will bring them happiness. If that’s you and you’re genuinely happy then, that’s awesome!
I know that many visitors to this site are interested in finding a wife, and that’s great. I wish them well, and hopefully, someday, I’ll follow suit.
Finding a wife was never my primary reason for moving here.
Having been married twice before, I was never overly concerned with finding a spouse nor does it occupy too much of my time.
That’s not to say that I’m against the idea because I genuinely believe in the institution of marriage.
Committing to another person and promising to spend the rest of your lives together, sounds pretty sweet to me.
It’s just not something I’ve seen too much evidence of in my lifetime and can count the great unions on the fingers of one hand.
The Philippines is also a ‘no divorce’ country and annulments can be expensive and take a long time.
The next time I get married will have to be the last, and so I’m even more cautious than normal.
Negativity is Everywhere
I recently read a comment from somebody on our Facebook page, something to the effect that we – as in Retiring to the Philippines – are lying to our visitors by only promoting the beauty and benefits of living in the Philippines.
Initially, I was mad and was going to post a snide rebuke, but then I stopped myself and thought about it for a moment.
There are indeed quite a few posts on this website espousing a seemingly idealistic view of life in the Philippines for foreigners, but there is also some that point out the dangers and pitfalls that one might encounter.
The fact is that most of the guys that choose to write for our website are genuinely really happy with their lives and grateful to be living here.
That’s not to say it’s all roses and candy and we don’t encounter hassles and things that annoy us.
Of course, we do, and you know what? That’s life!
Whether those things are something that you allow yourself to be defined by is your call entirely, and nobody else’s.
The difference between us and some other foreigners that live in the Philippines is that we don’t try to impose our views or opinions on the locals or their government.
We accept and acknowledge that we are visitors and it is a privilege to be here, and not a right.
As I mentioned above, my reasons for living in the Philippines are to find personal happiness and avoid stress.
For me, it’s working out just fine, but it’s certainly not the traditional lifestyle of an expat in the Philippines.
My idea of happiness may be different from yours and to be honest, I expect it is.
I’ve always been the type of person that enjoys their own company, and I don’t necessarily need other people to make me feel whole.
I was speaking to my stepfather the other day, and I commented that “most of the problems that I’ve had in my life were caused by other people,” and that’s true.
Left to my own devices, I tend to do just fine.
Too Anti-Social to be Sociable?
Somebody over here – a foreigner – once referred to me as ‘anti-social, ‘ and to some degree, they may have been right.
I would argue, however, that I’m not so much anti-social as hyper-selective and cautiously skeptical of people and their motives.
When I am in the company of others, I’m usually the life of the party and am an engaged and inquisitive conversationalist.
The fact that I’m not constantly surrounded by people and for the most part, don’t feel a personal need for permanent companionship, doesn’t make me anti-social.
It just makes me, me.
Conclusion
So to answer the question of why I live in the Philippines, I’d say, because it makes me happy and for the most part, people leave me alone.
That’s it!
Nothing magical and no great secret. It is simply a country and lifestyle that suits me and allows me to live my life the way I want.
Will it suit everybody? I’m guessing not.
Will it suit you? I have no idea.
One thing I can say though is that if you come over here with some pre-conceived notion of how you think things ‘should’ be, then you’re probably going to be disappointed.
I came here because of my need to be somewhere other than where I was, and at the time, it was Hawaii.
I’d also tried Australia, Canada, the Canary Islands and my homeland of the UK. I’d been searching for someplace to call ‘home’ for forty years and now I’ve finally found it in the Philippines.
I had no preconceptions, and I even had to check the map to see where the Philippines was!
That was twelve years ago, and for me, it’s been the best decision I NEVER made.
All the best!
If anything in this article resonates with you, then please feel free to post a comment below. Make sure you read our comment policy though before you do as I’m not a fan of negativity and they will no doubt end up in the trash before they see the light of day.
All part and parcel of working to keep my life positive and make myself a happy and content individual.
Same here Steve…
good article! i’m retiring over there in awhile, married to pinay lad y. first time over there i questioned my sanity, having been there several times over the years i agree PH isn’t for everybody, Enjoy your day, not long and i’ll be there myself. thx
Hi..It felt like i was reading about myself.I am 60 years old and plan to retire there.I was there for a month in 2012 loved it..And have felt sadness and homesick ever since.I plan to visit Davao City soon.I have been chatting with a woman there for over a year now.She wants to visit here in USA but not stay here. So she agreed to come here too i retire at 65 then we both go back..I want that for her.and for us.I am a Christian and so is my wife to be and both have the same dreams and desires.The long distance is hard right now but we’re both very busy and that helps with the loneliness of being apart with someone we love.I have three grown children who are busy with their own lives no time for me so i guess i should just worry about what i want at this late season in my life. I too want a stress free life.Living in Rochester New York there is to much stress hate crimes drugs thousands of lazy people on welfare sitting on porches smoking weed and drinking beer political unrest disrepect for law and order and eldly people riots ferminist movements just to much crazy here.
Vincent – I’m glad my article resonated with you. It sounds like you’ve got your retirement plans figured out and you’ve found someone to live out the rest of your days with. I wish you well. – Steve
Vincent, what you described in New York sounds like hell below. I live in a small town in Oregon and even here crime (and lazy welfare bums) are on the increase. In short time it may be best to move to the P.I.
I couldn’t agree more. As an American with a fully developed retirement plan with my Filipina-American wife..we can be as ‘sosyal’ or private as we choose ONCE we leave the States & settle into our ocean front condo. I encourage all readers of this blog to think out of the box & consider the information presented about this 7,000 island ? plus nation.
With 16 years of marriage into the culture,I have learned to embrace the good & repel the bad. Enjoy the good weather,incredible food & people but also beware of the under culture of machismo, sexism & corruption in all its facets. Words to the wise for most third world cultures struggling to ‘keep up’ with the West. I will live and grow old amongst my wife’s large clan of professionals & jeepney drivers. Keep a very low profile,adhere to close family & most of all be incredibly careful in your business dealings..that could really bring unwanted attention..perhaps fatal. But hey! Let’s be positive..your Social Security check is safely direct deposited into your American bank account..and its time for a nap before another sunset kisses the West Philippine Sea! “Kain na tayo!”
Thanks for your comment Mo. Sounds like you’ve got things plotted out and have things well in order.
Good luck with everything and I wish you luck with your retirement in the Philippines.
Steve
I LOVE THIS COMMENT. You sound like a local already. I am retiring soon too, 2 years earlier than I originally planned, but work ( I am a divorced Pinoy RN with 40 years of working in an intense trauma center in the US) has gotten too toxic for my health. Time to go back to my roots and enjoy the rest of my life.
Mabuhay ka! Kain na tayo, hahahahaha.
Hi Steve,
I get it totally what you have said, its something inside that tells you.
I like to think of myself as a citizen of the world and just born in the UK, just like you Steve I have been wondering around for the past 30 years trying to find calm, low stress, and happiness, tried the USA, French Polynesia, Mexico, Spain, France, Australia…….still looking for Shangri La…..will be in the Phillippines in Feb 2017, with an open mind.
I like your honest approach to life, simplicity is always best.
Thank you
Adie – Thanks for your comment and I wish you well in your continuous search for your own personal Shangrila.
Take care
Steve
That is a good truthful article. For years I have been torn among three retirement places overseas. They are ,Belize, Ecuador and the Philippines. Over the past ten years I have spent most of my time out of the US. Philippines is my favorite. The advantage there is so many speak English, people are very friendly ,and they as a whole really like Americans. I love it there and really want to form… an informal “community ” in one of the provinces. It has many advantages over Latin America. It is close for me to make a decision now.
Hello friends
I’m moving to a high rise condo in Manila in 2020, I will then be in my 80’s…..I’m still working here in Florida as a home care RN……I love the Philippines…..’Thrills in the Phillsxx’ Have visited every year over the last 15 years……my rationale for living in Manila, is that I would rather be there, with in home help, in my dotage , than a nursing home in the States……plus I have family there, my son moved from the UK …would love to hear from some of you, preferably words of encouragement, caution etc Sincerely Jill
Hello Jill, Your comment resonated with me. I am Filipina, married to my American husband of 30 years. We’ve decided to move to the Philippines largely because of the cost of long-term health care here in the US. My husband has visited the Philippines several times over the years but I know visits are NOT the same as living in a location. I am hoping he finds retirement there enjoyable and is able to adjust to the different lifestyle! Hey, I haven’t lived there in 30 plus years, so I’m sure I’ll have to adjust, too 🙂 !!
What a totally honest, enlightening, and well-written personal essay! I’m also a happy introvert who makes no excuses for being one since I do believe, like Steve, that I can’t be truly happy unless I fully embrace what makes me a unique individual, able to fully express and share myself as a social being in my own way. Introverts, after all, have their own individual “style” of navigating their way in this oftentimes noisy, superficial, and judgmental world. I, too, want to retire to and in the Philippines as someone past his fiftieth birthday, after having known and admired many kind and selfless Filipinos who’ve made the USA their home. The essays here have cemented that longing and desire. Thank you, Steve, for your very refreshing way of looking at and embracing the expatriate life that is enriched, nourished, challenged, annoyed at times, but made palpably whole by a completely different culture and people worth our while to know and respect for all their uniqueness. After all, introverts may have within themselves ways and means to recognize and truly avoid taking on the “ugly” side of being a westerner in another people’s land.
Hi Steve, its very nice to hear that you are loving living in PI. I am a filipino but now living in Australia for 17 years but theres no days that i dont dream of going back to retire in my homeland. Hopefully it will come about in 7 years time when i turn 50. I already bought a beach land and hoping to build a house on it when the time comes.. i always feel a little envy to people that able to live in the Philippines and here we are filipinos always dreaming of getting out and i was one of those filipinos. However, since living in Australia and travelled extensively everywhere, i came to appreciate and realized that really is, i was born in the very best country. Thank you.
Nan – Thanks for your comment. Good luck with your move back to the Philippines and I hope it all works out for you.
– Steve
Hi Nan, I can see we have very similar background. I am also a Filipino Australian, been living in Sydney for 27 years and now coming close to retirement. I also have travelled extensively around the world on business as well as on holidays with my family so IMHO we can consider ourselves truly lucky for having the best of both worlds. Australia is the best country to raise a family and to earn a living with its safe and clean environment, egalitarian society, high wages, and generous superannuation scheme (employer funded pension saving plan) while I consider the Philippines the best country for retirement with its low cost of living, great and friendly people, beautiful sceneries, and relaxed lifestyle. I plan to retire part of the year in the Philippines and the rest of the year in Australia, or perhaps travelling to other countries in between. I’m also listening to a lot of retirement podcasts while driving to educate myself on retirement living and that has been also quite educational for me.
Hi Steve – great website for people planning on retiring in the Philippines! Just discovered it last week and I am enjoying reading the articles as well as the reader comments. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for your words. I feel the same way. I just wanted to be some where else and I have been to Phil many times and every time I come back to the US and deeply depressed. I have decided I wanted to stay in Phil and I am researching what I will need. But I totally agree with. I always feel Phil is where my heart is and I like you i am divorced but 3x and I do not want to get married again. If I find that person she is going to be the last. I need to know specifics of what I need to do to retire there. I hope I find it here. Thank your for this article.